Don't Hate on John Wall

I don’t know why everyone’s hating on John Wall today like he’s some underachieving redheaded step hild. The lightning-quick No. 1 draft pick had 14 points and nine dimes in his debut against Orlando last night, and, despite shooting 6-19 from the field and his team losing by 29, Wall looked damn good for a rookie point guard playing in his first NBA game against one of the best teams in the league.

Throughout last night’s game it was more than apparent that John Wall isn’t just fast; he moves differently. John Wall is an X-Men type athlete whose power is speed; it’s obvious, even amongst a backdrop of hyper-athletes. If you haven’t seen him play yet, the closest analogy I can come up with is footage of a panther being viewed in fast-forward while somehow maintaining its coordinated languidness. And at a long 6’4", most of what I’ve seen from Wall has been against point guards shorter than him, like Jameer Nelson last night, who at 5’10" not only specializes but depends of being the quickest player on the court. With the only advantage of a stunted height in the NBA being ability to hound larger and slower opposing point guards on the dribble, Nelson should have been able to make John Wall’s debut a disaster.

It’s worth noting here that the point guard position is the hardest, most pressurized position to fill as a rookie, because you don’t get the luxury of other people creating plays for you, that’s your job. You also constantly have the ball, dramatically raising the room for error. Yet if you watched last night’s game you’ll have noticed that Nelson was forced time and time again to give Wall a 4-foot buffer on defence in the backcourt, and Wall was still able to burn and crossed Jameer up at will. The fact Dwight Howard, the biggest, most athletic center in the league, was waiting to block Wall on defence irrelevantly dampened his game. It takes time to get used to finishing on people like that. Wall will get it, rest assured.

After the loss, Washington Coach Mike Fratello summed it up best "Who else would you want to have taking the shots at this point?” … From here, it’ll get easier for Wall. He was going against a very good defensive team and a veteran PG in Nelson who just isn’t going to let a rookie make him look bad on Day 1." Well he did.

And, oh yeah, he's only 20 years old.

Amar'e Anyone? Hakim Warrick has Paul Millsap Picking Leather out of His Teeth for Weeks

Poems for LeBron. GetReal's Picks: The definitive list of something no one really cares about.

Remember that Miami Herald/WLRN sponsored LeBron James poetry contest we were mocking a few posts ago? Well the results are in, and they’re kinda well..more insightful and entertaining than you'd think. According to P. Scott Cunningham, who's in charge of the contest, most submission fells somewhere in between loose versions of iambic pentameters and tetrameters. I have no idea what those words mean, but here are some of GetReal’s favorites.

LeBronomics

Financial despair across South Florida

Budget cuts, job loss, broken community

LeBron comes to Miami

The greatest player; the magnificent entertainer

Championships bring revenue and hope,

More than basketball is on the line.

Untitled Haiku from Cleveland

Yo Miami, city near some water.

You got LeBron, from Cleveland he done gone.

Poor you.

Twisted Town

I think that I will never see

More useless hype in our community;

A town whose unemployment soars

And businesses have shut their doors

Where homeless weep and wetlands shrink

Our priorities just stink, I think.

Untitled

Clouds twist and buck like ill-tempered horses as we rest under royal palm

Watching waves crash the shore, my lover stretching her orange and blue James Jersey over bony knees

I ask, ‘Wouldn’t you live here, if you could?’

She turns away and smiles.

Two Words

Who cares!

Duke 2K11 Champions

The NBA season has begun and the basketball media camp is flush with ad nauseam stories about The Big Three, Blake Griffin, Boston and L.A. For some relief, swallow this GetReal NCAA prediction:  The Duke Blue Devils will repeat their national championship in 2011. 

While Duke may not be the most athletic team in the country, the team is a hell of a lot more than a cornbread-fed group of three point shooters. Rest assured Mason Plumlee, Kyrie Irving, Andre Dawkins and Nolan Smith are all big and quick enough to handle the nation’s ultra-athletic teams. From Michigan State and North Carolina to NC State, Duke can hang. While Duke’s best shooter, Jon Scheyer, has moved on to some sort of inevitably disparaging career in the real world, forward Kyle Singler shot 42% from beyond the arc last year and will compensate for his loss. To further increase the team’s fire power, Duke also acquired Seth Curry (brother of Stephen Curry, son of Dell Curry) from Liberty College where he averaged 20 ppg last year. Yes, he shoots like the rest of his family. 

Duke Coach Mike Krzyewski is the undisputed master of Xs and Os basketball. Mike is the basketball world’s version of Hannibal Lecter crossed with Jack Welsh. And, fresh off a gold medal in Turkey this summer, where he led players like Kevin Durant and Chauncey Billups, he’s going to be like a coach on managerial cocaine. He’ll undoubtedly have developed higher expectations, which will trickle down into tighter, more intense and demanding leadership. Ask and ye shall receive, I believe the adage goes. 

Moreover, Krzyewski will be coaching a team largely comprised of returning players, meaning he’ll have yet another season of tweaking and engineering on which to compound before heading into the tournament come March. This will make a team offense and chemistry that’s already deadly effective more so.  

GetReal Hoops is a huge fan of 4^th-year retuning forward Kyle Singler. At 6’8, 235lbs, this kid can shoot the three, play the low post, run the break and pass the ball. With a brilliant basketball IQ and the work ethic/stamina to play the entire game (he usually did throughout the 2010 tournament), he’s a candidate for player of the year. Singler fills stats sheets like water and how much he steps up in 2011 will be key to Duke’s success. Our bet: He will.  

Cause we ain’t talk’n about LBJ today, you heard it here first: Duke 2011 Champs, again.

What Runs like a Deer and Dunks like a Yeti?

Blake Griffin. Two highlights from his 20-point debut in the league. The future is bright.

The Big Baby Davis/Shaq Substitution is a Russian Doll Strategy

Erik Spoelstra's Head is on the Block...and has been since day one.

Tell me that doesn't look a like lamb being led to slaughter

The Miami Heat ran around like a coachless, jittery, over-athletic playground team. The blame and subsequent ax will quickly fall on Coach Erik Spoelstra, whose offenses rarely went beyond 'stand around and let LeBron shoot' with an occasional 'stand around and let Dwyane Wade shoot' thrown in. My guess is Spoelstra and his inevitable sacking is a preordained release valve against the pressure of the Heat floundering around for a while.

Heat management isn't stupid; they're well aware it might take time for its triumvirate to gel, and while it does the media criticism, in light of the hype, will be vile. With Riley running things from the wings, the Heat can work on their game, lose a few games and then sacrifice Spoelstra as a scapegoat when things get real ugly. Pat Riley, whose been running things all along, role's in the wings to ostensibly save the day in what amounts to nothing more than brilliant image manipulation.

With Nothing Else to Do in Miami Other than Rebound, Chris Bosh Has Managed to Develop a Sense of Humour

Tall Justice with Chris Bosh from Chris Bosh

Brand New LeBron Commercial: Nike’s Advertising Team Does it Again.

In the sports world, Nike is the absolute master of spin. Its ad executives and marketing budgets make Don Draper look like a used car salesman. So when the company’s cash cow athletes run into PR disasters like rape, rampant infidelity and trades that piss pretty much everyone off, it’s Nike's advertising teams that swoop in with their 60 second spots and spin the situation just the right way. Watch this new LeBron James ad, the very first after his move to Miami, and tell me you don’t empathize with him more, understand him better and want to be him again? All at the same time. Nike and LeBron 1, Haters 0.

Here’s a few other redeeming, Machiavellian Nike ads that first aired after public disgraces:

Marvel Series of 2010 NBA Preview Comic Covers for ESPN

Check out the rest here.

Poor Steve Nash

Steve Nash speaks his mind.  He doesn’t gloss over things and usually knows exactly what’s going on. Which is why it must be pretty distressing for Suns fans to hear Nash say the following: “To be honest, if I was outside this picture and a betting man, I would probably pick us to be outside of the playoffs considering all the changes and the new guys,” 

As candid as Nash is, he’s also a leader, meaning he probably should have kept his mouth shut on this one.  But it’s tough to blame a guy with so many reasons to be pissed off.  Last year the Suns pushed the Lakers to the brink in the Western Conference Finals, surprising everyone and arguably playing better than they ever have. Yet despite being a team only a few players short of a championship, Phoenix was dismantled this summer, starting with their franchise big man Amar'e Stoudemire, who put an apostrophe in his name and took off for New York.  

Which leaves Steve Nash in the twilight of his career, surrounded with new teammates and minus a franchise partners to whom he’s gotten used to feeding passes.   Here’s how Steve Nash should get his revenge: Take a massive pay cut and sign with Miami.

Midnight Madness: Worth it for the Dunk at the 1:03 mark

Ron Artest Really is Nuts

Ron Ron turned up on Jimmy Kimmel last night wearing a fake, not-funny beard and clothes suggesting he'd just escaped from rehab. The whole thing reeked like an awkward, ineffectual PR stunt to promote his revolutionary new 'Let's Do it' app (see previous post).

What the Magic need from Vince Carter

Orlando went undefeated in this year's preseason and Vince Carter showed some promising signs of athletic life. With the Heat running in the east, the Magic will need everything they can get from Carter. Given what I've seen from Carter this preseason, I'm getting an inkling 2010/11 just might be a VC comeback year. Here's a taste of what Carter used to be able to do consistently. Don't mind the music, though it seems kind of oddly fitting.

The Ron Artest 'Let's Do It' iPhone App

In this age of constant connectivity and social media, there are certain things you just can’t get enough of; things like messages from loved ones, entertainment, breaking news and Lakers wacko small-forward Ron Artest. 

Which is why Ron Artest and some of the world’s most sophisticated software developers have teamed up to create the Ron Artest Let’s Do it iPhone app. For only $0.99 at the Apple App Store, Ron Artest obsessives can now get constant, on-the-go access to things like The Ron Artest Show (there’s no evidence on the web whatsoever that a Ron Artest Show exists), exclusive videos like Rank’d with Ron Artest, Dear Ron, Ron Artest’s Sports Psychology, Pop Topics with Ron Artest and something called Rapid Fire. 

The app also lets users interact directly with Ron, who has a storied history of inviting fans to dodge ball games on the beach, randomly visiting them at their homes for late breakfasts and even singing Karaoke in their living rooms. Ideally, the Let’s Do it App will dramatically increase the chances for fans of Ron Ron barging into their lives. Also available are samples of every song Artest has ever performed, as well as behind the scenes footage of Ron and his ‘music celebrity friends and collaborators’.

Kobe being Kobe

Been wondering what Kobe thinks of the Heat? Here it is, courtesy of the Denver Post.

Q: You famously find motivation in different things. Do you find some motivation in the existence of the Miami Heat?

A: No. I don't need it. I don't need it.

Q: When you heard the Heat was getting LeBron, D-Wade and Chris Bosh, what was your reaction?

A: Woooow.

Q: Wow meaning, this team is going to be really good?

A: Wow meaning, how did Pat Riley pull this (expletive) off? Impressive.

Q: How good can the Heat be?

A: Great.

Q: When you heard the Heat was putting those players together, did you think, "Oh, that's who we'll play in the Finals next year?' "

A: That's what you all said. I said, "I got to get my knee healthy."

Would you expect any less?

Why Everything GetReal Hoops Predicted about Blake Griffin is Correct (Barring Injury)

Like we said a few posts ago, this kid is something special; the closest thing to a young Charles Barkley yet. Watch how the Utah players just kind of mill around stunned over how badly they just got banged on by a rookie.

Amar'e Stoudemire and Anna Wintour Bond Over Fashion at New York Upper Crust Event

Look at the Knicks' Amar'e Stoudemire getting chummy with Vogue editor Anna Wintour at this year's New York Fashion week. You gotta admit, they do they look good together. Ms. Wintour even seems genuinely happy, which is a rarity for the Ice Witch of fashion. Maybe she needs more 6'10" men in her life.

And Amar'e, fresh off a disturbing nude pose in last weeks Sports Illustrated, is ready for more: ‘Anna [Wintour] will bless me to be on the cover of Vogue, but it hasn’t happened yet.’
 

Prediction: with the fashion forward Amar'e Stoudemire now a New Yorker, things are going to get  progressively more interesting. Think highly offensive franchise player in the vain of Dennis Rodman crossed with Kanye West. And the guy's gonna have a 6'3" European model on his arm in no time.

Yao Ming is Second Only to Ghandi and Martin Luther King (According to Shane Battier)

Battier did actually graduate from Duke, and Yao is looking pretty dynamic in that red blazer and rainbow tie. Read about the King of China here.

Big Trouble in Little China: Brazil Starts Bench Clearing Monster Brawl

Things got out of hand Tuesday night in what was meant to be just another friendly FIBA match between Brazil and China. Brazil tends to play rough and after Chinese players started retaliating, punches got thrown. Every time it looked like officials had it under control, some guy from either team would come flying in from the corner and kick it off again.

While I’m sure Brazilians are tough, I don’t know about going up against some of those huge Chinese monstrosities. Check out the part where like six of them start stomping some poor Brazilian.   

Villianous Lebron James is Balding.

It hasn't been a good year for the marketability of LeBron James. By choosing the chump route of forming an Axis of Evil with Wade and Bosh, LeBron obliterated any hope of achieving the kind of modern, ultra-competitive, hero like status of a Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant or even a Tim Duncan.

Instead, the move to Miami made it clear he's just another young multimillionaire who'd rather take the easy and monopolistic route to victory instead of actually earning a championship. The image is now baked into the once pristine LBJ brand, leaving admen at places like Gatorade, Nike and McDonald's wondering how to spin a lack of competitive principle or just how long, if ever, it's going to take to blow over.

My guess is it won't; the better the Miami Heat do, the more they'll be hated on. And to make matters worse for LeBron James and his marketing machine, it seems the superstar. as illustrated by the photos is rapidly and prematurely balding. This probably isn't real news to anyone, but it sure was obvious last night after LeBron's headband was knocked off by a CSKA Moscow player on a drive to the rim. Like a man with a come-over on a windy pier with his date, The King look distressed,  and scrambled frantically to find remedy his exposure.

But I think a bald LeBron James leading the most hated team in the league to multiple championship is fitting. I mean no one likes a bald hero, but a bald villian is classic. Darth Vader was bald, so was Kingpin, Lex Luther and Dr. Evil. Just imagine LeBron in one of those enormous pin strip suits he wears, with his Amish beard and a chrome dome going  up year after year against underdog heroes like Kevin Durant and John Wall.  Tell me that's not a perfect villian for Iron Man 3 and, at the very least, for the next decade worth of playoffs? 

The Reign of LeBald James is coming.

What Chris Bosh's Head Will Feel like Two Weeks into the Regular Season

 

Yes, it's true, Chris Bosh's head is shrinking at an alarming rate. The phenomenon is a direct result of a one-time team leader now playing a crippled version of Alfred to Batman and Robin. Prognosis isn't good, Specialists predict by mid-season Bosh's head will be completely gone, leaving him headless and perfectly equipped for rebounding and obedient outlet passing.  

For Old Times' Sake: Charles Barkley

Carter's Still Got it, churning out casual around the back 360 dunks like Vincanity still exists. Maybe it does.

Turkey Bound

Sometimes the repercussions of globalism just don’t settle right, like when Allen Iverson decides to play basketball in Turkey.

That’s right, The Answer, the guy who broke MJ not once but twice, is on the verge of a $2 million, one-year contract to play basketball in Turkey. And it’s obviously not for the money. Two mill won’t even cover the entourage he’ll have to fly to the Middle East to make sure he stays even remotely happy and comfortable in downtown Istanbul. 

So I guess it’s because Allen just wants to play basketball, but can’t he do it somewhere that makes a bit more sense, like France, China, or even a pick-up league in Harlem?

Apparently the biggest hiccup in the deal is a stipulation coming from the Iverson legal camp (Iverson never goes anywhere without a lawyer by the way) over how much he can be fined by the league for misbehaviour and whatever else he has planned. Iverson wants no more than 1% of his salary, or $20,000 per fine. Wise move by The Answer, but it must make the Turks a little nervous to legally bind their hands like that.

Is it just me, or does this whole thing reek like a potential reality show.

Read More about Iverson and the Turks here. 

Grant Hill Spanks Raptor's Reggie Evans After Blocking Foul

With the hyper athletic Raptors blowing out the Suns, Grant Hill went on an ass slapping tear after being tripped by Reggie Evans. While it's unclear who spanked who first, Grant's second swipe definitely had revenge in it, and it didn't seem like it was just for the foul. Plus they both got thrown out, which was a bit excessive is you ask me, butt you never know what this kind of stuff can turn into.  

High School Dunk of the Year: Trey Starks Literally Jumps Over some 6'6 Kid from Oakville

Dwight Howard Goes R&B with Little Asian Dude for Adidas Ad

Best 15 Year Old on the Planet, Hands Down. Aaron Gordon is Sick.

Find more videos like this on BALL IS LIFE

Coach Byron Scott Rocks a Swastika Tie at Cavs Media Day

While it's relatively safe to assume that Mr. Scott is not a crypto-Nazi, it's still pretty mind boggling that he didn't manage to spot 5 prominent Swastikas on the tie he decided to wear to a media day? And what kind of schmucks from the Cavaliers organization has he surrounded himself with that no one told him we was dressed like an SS guard before getting in front of a swarm of journalists?

Meir's Brilliant Kobe Bryant Mix

The Flop

While NPR’s This American Life may be America’s most listened to radio broadcast I’m going to assume there isn’t much of a correlation between its audience and ours and reiterate a discussion aired on this week’s episode: the rise of flopping for offensive fouls in the NBA.

As it turns out, This American Life’s coverage of flopping was itself a reiteration of an article written by ESPN’s Bill Simmons. In his article, Simmons’ argues that the reason why modern defensive players flop to the ground like gunshot victims is because of the influx of European players in the NBA and their cultish upbringing around the whiny game of soccer.

Anyone who’s managed to sit through a few games of ‘football’ knows exactly what Simmons is getting at. In Europe, soccer players flail their limbs and wail like rape victims in tactical reaction to any physical contact. But the dishonesty goes far beyond antics or entertainment; what is essentially lying has become an ingrained strategic component of the sport itself, and it actually wins games. While it might seem despicable and disparaging to us, the rules and culture of Europe’s soccer leagues have long been rewarding fraud in a race to the bottom of sports ethics.

Unfortunately, as Europeans have come to increasingly populate the NBA, their weak-kneed charlatan approach to soccer rules have spread across the league like a bad fashion trend. Interestingly, the athletics department at This American Life claims the player most responsible for the spread of The Flop is 7’1 Serbian Vlade Divac. Old Vlade first came to the NBA in 1989 as part of the first wave of European players in the league.

While successfully flopping, whining and passing his way to a moderate career, Vlade only truly perfected the flop in the early 2000s after his Sacramento Kings began challenging the Shaquille O’Neal -led Los Angeles Lakers year after year. With Shaq in his prime and pretty much impossible to stop, and Vlade in the twilight of a career plagued by bad knees, the only deployable tactic was to draw fouls on Shaq by theatrical flopping to the floor on every other defensive possession. And the Kings ended up playing the Lakers so frequently over their three championships that Vlade became a veritable Robert De Niro at hitting the floor. Other players soon followed suit, adopting The Flop against all the leagues' big men. Because like any unethical behaviour in a competitive environment, the more people do it, the more it becomes necessary for other to do it as well.

When Dell Harris, Vlade Divac’s coach throughout the 90’s was asked whether he taught Vlade the flop Haris responded "Are you kidding? He brought that over here and taught the whole NBA how to flop". Thanks Vlade, thanks Europe.

Footage from the Celtic's Lockroom: WTF

Lamar Odom Breaks Michael Beasley's Ankles in London Last Night

Blake Griffin is Healthy and will Rearm the Los Angeles Clippers

With the amount of high-profile trades and signings that went down this summer, it’s easy to forget about Los Angeles Clippers power forward Blake Griffin. Drafted 1st overall last year, Griffin missed the entire 2009/10 season after breaking his kneecap in a preseason game on a nasty dunk show in the video below.

Since that dunk, ignorance of Griffin’s abilities and potential has become excusable. With only a handful of NBA exhibition games to draw from, you’d have to have watched him in college to understand what kind of player he is. At 6’10 and 251lbs, Griffin has that immediately apparent, special blend of freakish athleticism and power innate to only a handful of players; mainly Lebron James, Dwight Howard and Josh Smith. When combined with his work ethic and earnestness, Griffin has the potential to become a 21st century Karl  Malone; only taller, with more vicious jumping abilities and infinitely more style.

Since the injury, Griffin has been quiet; working on his knee, bulking up and waiting. Built like a grizzly bear who can run like a deer, Griffin is a 21 year-old kid Darwinized to dominate the NBA. And because he missed all of 2009/10, he’ll be listed as a rookie in 2010/11 making eligible for ROY. With Baron Davis as his underrated point guard; my guess is Griffin takes ROY over John Wall.

So while he might not be garnering respect just yet, in a month Griffin’s going to be all over highlight reels and the Clippers will be a mid tier force in what has become a weak western conference. You heard it here fist.

Kobe says he'd take LeBron one-on-one, no thought, no smiles, completely serious and almost insulted by the question. All Kobe.

Washington Wizard's 1st Overall pick: The Fluiditiy of John Wall

Double Alley Oops: Miami Normal