NBA’s Only Iranian Player Charged with Domestic Assault

After only a month, the NBA’s first mug shot of the season is out and it belongs to 7’2 Hamed Haddadi of Iran.

Yesterday morning the Memphis Grizzlies’ reserve center and his girlfriend (take a deep breath) Goolnaz Karbalaeinematmoeeney were booked on mutual domestic assault charges after separate stories left police baffled.

According to affidavits, authorities arrived at the 25-year-old Haddadi’s downtown apartment early Thursday morning to find an extremely intoxicated Goolnaz bleeding from the head and hand along with suffering from a black eye and bruising around the neck.

Haddadi claims the wounds were merely a result of a dispute in bed that led to Goolnaz falling over the edge. When Karbalaeinematmoeeney then retaliated by hurling a soap dispenser at him, Haddadi managed to deflect it back at her head, causing the wounds.

Ms. Karbalaeinematmoeeney had a different story. According to the Iranian beauty, Haddadi was provoked to choke and shove her after watching her talk to another man.

Given thick accents, conflicting testimony and Haddadi’s enormous size, police arrested and charged both of them immediately.

It’s unlikely the Grizzlies will miss Hamed Haddadi. Having only played in four games this year, he’s averaging a 0.3 points and 2 rebounds a game this season.

He’s not getting much love from commentators either.

They both got suspended for that by the way.

The LeBron James 'What Should I do' Ad Gets Mashed-Up Again: It's even more Insulting Now

That LeBron-Nike commercial just won’t away. Every few weeks now it resurfaces in some newly edited and spliced up form to deliver an incisive jab at James.

The latest version of ‘What Should I do’ is crossed with a similar rhetorical-heavy Nike commercial narrated by Michael Jordan. The resulting mash-up has MJ lamenting to James; decrying him a failure and product of hype, all on a backdrop of LeBron rolling around in an SUV and images from Jordan’s storied youth in North Carolina.



Ouch. What initially looked like a work of marketing genius from Nike is quickly turning into a perfect vehicle for insults and parody. While Miami’s dismal record doesn’t help, Nike’s Don Draper sure didn’t see this coming.

And whatever it is that makes ‘What Should I do’ so easily converted into an SNL skit (probably the amount of dialogue, its wide range of cursory subjects and that the question what should I do begs an answer), you can expect a hell of lot more versions to bubble up. Like a Sarah Palin sound bite, this will haunt LeBron for awhile.

We're Pretty Sure John Wall Is actually the Flash

This week, 20-year old John Wall makes his first solo appearance on the cover of Slam Magazine. With the rookie leading the league in steals, ranking fourth in assists and having already notched a triple double, it’s about time.

But Slam’s cover tag ‘The New Iverson’ just doesn’t sound right. Because other than the fact Wall, like Iverson, will be the face of Reebok (for those questionable Zigtech shoes), their games share few similarities. Wall is a full five inches taller than Iverson and plays like a traditional tempo-controlling/ past-first point guard; Iverson was a scorer through and through. AI’s speed was off the dribble (a la crossover), whereas Wall is most effective in the open court taking long strides. Iverson had a decent jump shot, which he fearlessly exercised even during rookie shooting slumps, while, for the moment, Wall’s shooting is shaky and lacking confidence. He passes up shots he shouldn’t and can sometimes play a little too unselfishly.

SLAM made the mistake of not recognizing Wall as an immediately unprecedented player. With his size, speed and early domination, his game is in a different and ultimately more effective vein than even today’s elite point guards like Chris Paul and Deron Williams. He shares their court vision and tempo control yet possesses the kind of freakish athletic ability usually reserved for shooting guards and small forwards.

The editorial staff at SLAM Magazine should not have lazily slathered ‘The New Iverson’ across their latest cover. 'John Wall is The Flash' would have been more accurate.

Watch and agree:


That's coast to coast off an outlet pass on three dribbles in under 4 seconds.

Again, this time playing for the Wizards. Watch the clock, it takes The Flash 4 seconds to catch an outlet pass at the opposite baseline, casually weave through an entire court of traffic and finish at the other end.


The best for last: Wall travels an entire court, this time off an inbound pass, in 2.1 seconds, with a mere two dribbles! While the dunk didn't count, warp speed was reached.

Video Evidence Blake Griffin's Boomshakalaka Was a Travel

Maybe NBA officials and their ringleader Commissioner Stern should focus less on ejecting players and more on traveling violations. Although then we wouldn't get dunks like this.

Like Mike, Turns out Marcus Jordan Doesn't just Spend Money like His Father, He Dunks like Him too

The Jordan clan can rest a little easier knowing 19-year-old Marcus learned something else from Dad other than how to spend $56,000 in a Las Vegas night club. He learned how to dunk too.

In last night’s University of Central Florida-Stetson game, 2 of Marcus Jordan’s 15 points came from this one-handed boom session off a steal from a full court press:


While Marcus went on to get a technical foul for the post-dunk arm flexing show he gave the fans, the UFC Knights went on to beat the Stetson Hatters 85-58 and are now 4-0. Young Marcus is actually having a decent sophomore season thus far. But listed at questionable 6'3 and to be honest without much game, he’s no heir and won’t be making it the big leagues. Not a bad dunk though.

Here it is one more time in shoddier quality from a different angle.

Dennis Rodman Discusses Miami Heat in Radio Interview while Receiving Oral Sex

Between laughter, squeals and interjections of a girl named Teresa, Dennis Rodman called in unannounced on Jorge Sedano’s 790 The Ticket radio show early this morning to offer insight to the Heat’s worsening troubles. Calling from his bed and what was likely the end of his night, Rodman’s thoughts on basketball quickly disintegrated into fending off oral sex, and then a few minutes later, to announcing that yes, he was in fact now receiving oral sex from Teresa.

You can listen to the interview here.

While there isn’t much I’d change about the interview, it’d be interesting to hear Rodman pontificate a bit on LeBron and the dysfunction of Miami. Because while Jordan, Pippen and Rodman were never really a Big Three (it was more a like a duo with a very flashy sidekick), Dennis won two championships in Detroit and another three in Chicago, and has a decent perspective on how talent meshes. Both the 80s Pistons and the late 90s Bulls were teams loaded with enough ability and ego to self-destruct (a la Miami) yet managed to coalesce in their own particular way.

It’s clear the Miami must learn to do this, but for now they won’t be getting any advice from Dennis on how exactly it’s done. The only thing you can gleam from the interview is that LeBron wears his poor leadership abilities on his face and that the tone of Miami’s game is off. But we all knew that anyway.

And just in case you forgot who Dennis really is:

LeBron James Gets a Gay Facial

After watching what happened to LeBron James on Saturday night against the Memphis Grizzlies, you might actually start to feel sorry for him.


With 1:10 left in the 4th, Miami is down by three as James dribbles up the court in mock self-confidence, looking nothing like Michael Jordan. After coming off a nice screen from Zydrunas Ilgauskas at the top of the key, it immediately starts unfolding as an ideal LeBron play: James is barreling down the middle with his dribble, he can still go either way and is already halfway to the rim. This should be a dunk in the lane, or at the very least, two free throws. Instead, LeBron goes left with a weak, almost girly layup (with his right hand!) and is blocked by a chunky Zach Randolph in what amounts to only his second block of the entire season. And it's turnover.


Fast-forward to 5.5 seconds remaining and the game tied 95-95. Rudy Gay inbounds the ball to Marc Gasol who, after nearly losing it, passes it right back. LeBron picks up Gay streaking to the basket with under 3 seconds to go. With 0.8 seconds left, Rudy stops, pops and drops right in LeBron's face at the buzzer winning the game in what amounts to the nicest jump shot of the season. The Grizzlies break a 5 game losing streak and the Heat drop to 8 and 5.

Fast Don't Lie, the Autotunes Version.

Remember that Adidas commercial with Orlando's Dwight Howard, Chicago's Derrick Rose and the Hangover's androgynous little Asian man? Well a month later, someone has 'songified' it, and with some autotunes no less. It's actually not bad, and Dwight Howard can actually sing. The shoes are butt ugly though.

Are You a GetReal Hottie?

GetRealHammered.com has burst on to the scene and we are looking for the hottest female sports fans who like to keep it real. On December 1st, 2010 we will be launching GetRealHotties.com This blog will have all the best looking female sports fans from all over the world. If you are a model and you want to be discovered, send us your hottest pose in your favourite team colors and we will post it on the blog.

There is no compensation for the initial picture and by sending us the picture you agree to let us publish it on the blog. On or around January 1st, 2011, we will choose a team for GetRealHotties.com This team will attend events and represent the GetReal brand. Good luck to everyone and remember ladies; KEEP IT REAL!

Pictures and bios can be submitted to : getrealhotties@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/getrealhotties

For terms and conditions please visit our blog at http://getrealhotties.blogspot.com/p/disclaimer.html

Death of a Selfish Combo Guard

Hate him or love him, Steve Francis marked a brief fizzle in modern NBA history. With a unique game, personality and talents, his career was draped in fake fur hype from the moment he refused to play for Vancouver. The young Francis would quickly come to encapsulate the evolution of NBA point guards in the early 2000s: rebellious ball handlers who shot first and passed third. With a flamboyantly effective crossover and calve bunnies that let him bang on pretty much anyone, Francis possessed that rare style of wedding a playground game with NBA competition.

But it didn’t last and his recent decision to play in China, along with Iverson’s move to Istanbul marks the demise of arrogant combo guards who shot too much. Francis had never played point guard before (in college he was big enough to play shooting guard) and outright lacked the ability to do so in the NBA. Any ideas of early success were mirages of optimism revved up by how much fun it was to watch him play. With the media and fans turning a blind eye to things like turnovers and low assists, high flashy dunks and reams of highlight videos defined Francis’s first few years.

But like a broke tranny, Francis was a shooting guard hopelessly born into a point guard’s body, awkwardly running fast breaks from the lanes, fantasizing about being on the receiving end. His dribble was too weak to beat zones or presses, and the only way he seemed comfortable attacking was after a few skippy playground dribbles to orient himself. Teams quickly learned to shut down his lanes and blunt his angles, and Francis couldn’t adapt, couldn’t diversify. Compound that with a few years of wear and tear and a crucial first step that isn’t so quick against 22-year olds anymore and Francis started drifting, first to Orlando then to Portland for a short stint and finally to New York.

Next stop, The People’s Republic of China, where he’ll join like-minded one-time NBA All-Star point guards like Stephon Marbury and Allen Iverson to bust ankles in places most of them can’t pronounce.

'I Boshed it': The New Idiom for Failure

TBJ exclusive: Like A Bosh from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

This little anti-Heat nugget comes from the crew at Basketball Jones, and they're definitely on point with this one. Looking back on those dreadlocks, Raptors fans, all-star appearances and occasional playoff runs, it's easy to forget just how good Bosh was. For now he's been reduced to an idiom for over-hype and failure, like 'Damn, I Boshed it', 'That new restaurant was such a Bosh' and 'Man, You just pulled a Bosh'.

Forget the video, Duke's Kyle Singler might just be the best NCAA player on the planet.

Buckets! Apparently they shot this in under an hour. Probably not, but judging on how well Singler and the Blue Devils did last year, Singler is a front runner for College Player of the Year and Duke is favored to repeat.

While still a junior and clearly talented (look at the bloody shots he's hitting) there is still a lot of doubt whether Singler is NBA material. He's definitely not quick enough to play shooting guard, he'd be destroyed at small-forward and at 6'8 he's too small to play in the paint. Yeah, he's a decent shooter, so are a lot of players in the NBA. My bet, he'll go down with the rest of Duke's talented players like Bobby Hurley, Christian Laettner and Trajan Langdon who just weren't built for the big leagues.

The Suns' Brilliant Shooting and the NBA's Terrible Refereeing Hand LA Its Second Loss

Despite Phoenix’s history-making blitzkrieg of three-point shooting this Saturday, it’s still pretty easy to blame the Lakers for losing. Because while Phoenix’s 22 three-pointers were only a few shy of breaking an NBA record, it was accomplished against an LA defence that was as ineffectual as it was lazy.

As it became increasingly clear the Suns were shooting well, Los Angeles’ defensive strategy seemed to proportionally devolve into standing around and waiting for Phoenix to inevitably start missing shots. With LA not getting hands in the faces of jump shooters like Steve Nash (21 points, 13 assists), Jason Richardson (35 points, 13-for-20 from the field, 7-for-10 on threes) and Channing Frye (20 points, 7-for-12), the Suns shot the lights out.

However, the Lakers did manage to kill the Suns on the glass, pulling down a 49-33 overall rebounding advantage and topping the Suns 20-10 in offensive boards. Outscoring the Suns by 40 points in the paint, the Lakers managed to stay close and were only down 2 points with 54 seconds left.

Enter Commissioner David Stern’s new dainty technical rule and what should have been an and one from Lamar Odom.

First of all, it’s clear Hedo Turkoglu did hack Odom on the play, and it should have been a foul. Secondly, Odom’s reaction was justified and certainly did not warrant a technical foul at such a crucial moment in the game. Commissioner Stern needs to repeal what has become a draconian, boring and trumped up regulation against self-expression on the court.

Andre Iguodala Takes Brian Cardinal to the Wood Shed and Teaches Him a Lesson : Get Out Da Way

What to Watch: GetReal #5

Lil Wayne Will Be the Miami Heat's Jack Nicholson

Since getting out of prison 15 minutes ago, Lil Wayne has been a regular courtside character at Miami Heat games. That's because when he's not giving What Ups to players like Shaq and Carmelo Anthony, Young Wheezy is a staunch supporter of anything Southern, especially the Heat. And while it must have been a disappointing night, we're pretty sure Lil Wayne, the Heat and courtside tickets in Miami will have a long, prosperous decade together.

For now, Lil Wayne will just have to settle with catching that Rondo dunk. 

And the Winner of this Week's Tweet of the Week is....New Orleans Point Guard Chris Paul, aka #OneandonlyCP3

Chris Paul, congratulations on being the best player on the league's only undefeated team but just so you know, tweeting about TMI can itself be TMI.

Forget Everything We Said about Rajon Rondo not Being Able to Finish like Derrick Rose

This one handed butcher dunk by Rondo last night pretty much sums up everything we've written about Chris Bosh being too soft. Granted Rajon usually looks for the dime on these plays, Chris Bosh can't just hang around the paint thinking about tea, biscuits and what size skirt he wears. He could have had the block, he should have at least fouled. Take your eyes of Rondo for the whole play and just watch Bosh. What's he doing? Did he take some club drug make from tooth whitener before the game? To get posterized by Rando like that is just disgraceful.

After going down 112-107 last night to Boston, the Heat have now lost 3 of their last 4 games and the only decent team they've managed to beat has been Orlando. Because everything can't be blamed on Bosh, James has come out today whining about how Coach Erik Spoelstra is playing him and Wade too much. Despite LeBron's stellar performance last night (35 points, 10 rebounds and 9 assists) would Kobe or Jordan ever even think such a thing, let alone say it publicly on something like Twitter? Nope.

Regardless, Spoelstra's days are numbered. At this point he's become a little hangman drawing on Pat Riley's mahogany desk, with each loss representing another step towards his lynching.

New Video: GetReal #4

Gilbert Arenas Rationalizes why He Took a Dump in Andray Blatche's Shoes.

Gilbert Arenas is a notorious practical joker. Rumours have swirled that he’s used everything from loaded guns to his own crap as props. And while Arenas and whatever locker room he’s terrorizing have usually kept quiet about his antics (a teammate did once say in anonymity that his behaviour often went unchecked an dunpunished), Gilbert is starting to speak out. 

In this week’s Sports Illustrated article titled ‘And a Wild Child Shall Lead Him’ Arenas mentioned in regard to his most stinky prank "I understand what people think because of the perception of me. They read the funny stuff, like me taking a crap in Andray Blatche's shoes. But nobody is going to ask what Andray did to deserve it. You read about it because that's when I'm at my goofiest, when I'm around my teammates. I don't get in trouble outside of this building. You are not going to catch me drinking and driving, or picking up prostitutes. People don't see what my teammates see, the guy who is in here three times a day working out. That's the guy they don't see."

Then, in an interview after last night’s win over Houston, when a reporter did ask what Blatche did to deserve it Arenas said: 

Nevermind Dougie, Teach Me how to Sebastian Telfair

Coney Island’s Sebastian Telfair may not amount to much in the NBA but he sure rattles and abuses street ballers in Brooklyn and Harlem like a professional. Probably the best point guard in NYC street ball history, Telfair has been terrorizing burroughs since he was 13.

Maybe it was the hype that got him, maybe it was the fact he didn’t go to college, or maybe he’s doing exactly what he should be doing.

P.S. Catch a young Jay Z and LeBron escorting Telfair to Harlem street court at the 2:00 minute mark.

No-Namer Paul Millsap Downpours on Miami's Stat Sheet Coming-Out Party

Who the hell is Paul Millsap? How did he score 11 points in 28 Seconds? How does a veritable no-namer bang out 46 points and singlehandedly defeat the mighty Heat?

That’s how. Paul Millsap made it rain, all game, and then he knocked down three consecutive three-pointers and a buzzer-beating tip-in in the final 28 seconds of regulation play. 

Jeez, the Heat really can’t catch a break. On paper, it looked like the South Beach dream had finally come true; Dwyane Wade torched the Jazz with 39 points (12-for-23 from the field, 3-for-5 on threes, 12-for-16 from the line), LeBron James finally had a triple-double (20 points, 14 assists, 11 rebounds) and Chris Bosh chipped in nicely with 17 points and 9 boards. And the Heat still lost.

Why? Paul Millsap, that’s why.

Why we Love the Lakers (and the people who put together these videos)

Why the Miami Heat Offense is so Dysfunctional

The Miami Heat are now 5-2, which isn’t bad, but their offence still looks downright awkward. Juxtapose it with the machinations of LA and say it with me...Threepeat. The reason why Miami’s offence looks as fluid as a septic tank isn’t because The Big Three are over armed, it’s because they’re straining too hard to fill specific, almost rigid roles. LeBron James is excessively and self-consciously forcing himself to be a playmaker, Wade is hell bent on slashing to the rim and Bosh just stands around looking diplomatic.

Miami’s biggest asset is versatility. Wade and James can score from pretty much any position, and Bosh is a lithe big man who can hit open jump shots. Combined, they’re a recipe for opportunism and spontaneity. Yet instead of embracing versatility the Miami Heat tend to shun it, individually pigeonholing themselves in overly defined roles.

The intense media criticism has clearly gotten to James; whether he admits it or not, he’s first and foremost playing to prove people wrong. The only problem with that is that he’s focused more on proving that he can unselfishly fit in with the Heat than on the Heat actually winning games. He’s passing too much and it’s hurting his team. Last year, 47.5% of James’ drives to the rim were assisted, this year it’s down to 35%. That’s a career low for him and if the Heat are going to win, it must go up. Dwyane Wade on the other hand is only averaging a trivial 3.7 assists a game, that’s less than half of his career low, despite being on the most offensive team he’s ever played for.

Chris Bosh is easy to diagnose: he needs to be more aggressive. While he’s been effectively knocking down mid-range jumpers, he’s not asking for the ball, only waiting for it. He needs to cut to the rim more and not be afraid to put himself in positions to receive passes when Wade and James get doubled. Right now, it looks like he’s more worried about stepping on superstar toes then playing effective basketball. Bosh’s low post game is decent, but he doesn’t have the skills or the moves of a Kevin Garnett or Pau Gasol. Bosh is at his best when he’s cutting, slashing and feeding off penetrations. So far, Bosh just crashes the boards when he’s not watching the LeBron-Dwyane show and only shoots when he’s so open it’s inexcusable not to.

Sonny Weems Throws Down a One-Handed Boom Session After Crossing Up Stephen Curry Behind the Back

At least Toronto has something to be happy about.

All White Everything

Steve Blake lobs the ball of the glass to Pau Gasol as LA demolishes Portland.

121-96 over Portland: Lakers Share like They’ve Figured out Communism

Los Angeles is now 7-0 and they’ve done it by playing team basketball that works like the inside of a Rolex. Kobe is passing better than Jordan ever did, the team is gelling like a group of marines and Gasol is quietly morphing into a veritable monster. Walloping Portland last night 121-96, the Spaniard had 20 points, 14 rebounds and 10 assists in his fourth career triple double. Meanwhile, Lamar Odom had 21 points and 12 assists and Shannon Brown knocked down 4 threes. On defense, nutbag Ron Artest earned his keep, shutting down Portland’s Brandon Roy.

It doesn't really get any better than that. The Lakers are as deep as they are unselfish and Phil Jackson is looking like the greatest basketball mind on the planet, again.

The bad news: Kobe played less than 25 minutes last night and was icing his right knee constantly. The good news: it didn’t even matter.

Straight Outta Turkey: Allen Iverson Arrives at His New Home in Instanbul like a Messiah

Andre Iguodala Dominates Stupid Tweet of the Week Competition

That's right Andre, because the only time you can get pork is during that special period twice a year when McDonald's brings the McRib back.

Rajon Rondo: Most Valuable Distribution Machine on the Planet

Rajon Rondo has dished out 82 assists in the first five games of this season. That’s 16.4 dimes a game and a new league record for the beginning of a season. The guy’s spreading wealth like he rolls with Warren Buffet, and it’s not just because he’s compensating for a weak jump shot. It’s mainly because as a point guard, Rondo’s occupies that all too rare space of fitting perfectly with his team.

Boston is loaded with aging, offensive weapons that are as deadly as they are late 1990s. What KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Shaq have lost in shot creating ability, they’ve gained in ability to knock down shots that have been created for them. Enter Rajon Rando.

Rondo’s fast enough to take pretty much any player in the league of the dribble, but not as athletic as players like Derrick Rose (i.e. last night’s dunk) or David Westbrook to finish at the rim. But that doesn’t matter, because unlike Rose, Chris Paul or Deron Williams, Rondo has four players just dying to capitalize on the foot or two of space created by help side rotation. The careers of Ray Allen and Paul Pierce actually survive on this dynamic now.

Rondo has mastered dishing in a form that’s less like an earned assist and more like an over-athletized extra pass. Which isn’t that special, certainly not historically special. The irony is that if Rondo’s offensive skills were any more heightened, Boston would be worse off for it. What is special though is how much he accepts and relishes this role. In a league of superstars, an athletic and smart guard willing to play the role of a glorified distribution machine is a rarity. Just look at LA and their acquisition of Steve Blake this summer, a strategy Jackson obviously gleamed of Boston. Blake’s pretty much a white Rajon Rondo, minus the speed and a player that will (you heard it here first), in my opinion end up being a huge boon to LA.

The People of Cleveland Dump a Load of Stank on LeBron and his Nike Ad

Just when you think a commercial is airtight, some film student with a macbook manages to tear the creative team and its global superstar a new a**hole. It looks like LeBron better double down on security next time the Heat roll into Cleveland. The people of Ohio aren't going to forgive this for a long, long time.

Kevin Garnett Exposed

 

Kevin Garnett is worse than just a bully who only goes after small people and those who suffer from disorders like alopecia. Deep down inside that 6'11", 230-pound frame he's what's pictured above: a whining, miniature, rat-dog. 

Derrick Rose: Nasty Speed, Nasty Bunnies,

I've seen a Bulls player do this kind of thing before, his name was Jud Buechler.

Halloween Photos Continue to Surface

It seems Shaq wasn't  just dressed as woman, he was dressed as a prostitute, making that androgynous little Oompa-Loompa his pimp. They should have hooked up with Magic center Dwight Howard who was looking smashing in his homeless man costume.

Blake Griffin Continues to Run like a Deer and Dunk Like a Yeti

Most Awkward Hand Slap in NBA History

Timberwolves power-forward Kevin Love fails to teach Wes Johnson the finer points of NBA etiquette.

No One Makes Fun of Alopecia, Not even Kevin Garnett

Fights over alopecia happen all the time. Some occur at breakfast, others go down at the grocery store, and I’ve even seen them happen on golf courses. But as Piston’s Charlie Villanueva and Celtic’s forward Kevin Garnett proved last night, alopecia fights get really ugly when they happen on the basketball court.  

Detroit’s power-forward Charlie Villanueva has been as hairless as a pool ball since birth. And after joining the NBA in 2007, he’s become an outspoken leader for the global alopecia community; hosting various foundations and making sizable donations to children’s alopecia causes. 

Like any 6’11", 235-pound person with alopecia, Villanueva can deal with people shallow and asinine enough to ridicule what is a very serious affliction. Even if it’s Kevin Garnett.: After a particularly rough play in last night’s Detroit-Boston game, KG called Villanueva a ‘Cancer Patient’. 

The mainstream media shies away from just how ugly and lowly trash talking gets in the NBA. Some of the dirtiest and vilest things I’ve ever heard have been sitting courtside at NBA games. I’d be better off taking my son to a Harlem comedy club. But alopecia has always been a no-go zone, (so has cancer for that matter) and it should stay that way. If anything its just stirs up too much beef the next day, as we’re now seeing on Villanueva’s twitter feed: 

“KG called me a cancer patient, I’m pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he’s tossing it like it’s a joke,”

“I wouldn’t even trip about that, but a cancer patient, I know way (too) many people who passed away from it, and I have a special place (for) those.”

“KG talks alot of crap, he’s prob never been in a fight, I would love to get in a ring with him, I will expose him.” 

Kevin Garnett owes Mr. Villanueva and anyone inflicted with alopecia a sincere and thought out apology And,  anyway, Kevin Garnett is hardly the paragon of hairiness; the guy looks like he suffers from alopecia himself.

There Ain't No School like the Old School. Wesley Johnson gets Taught, Twice

Early in the season a lot of rookies have plays where they forgot just how unfamiliar the NBA can be. Where they assess an opportunity in terms of what it might have looked like in college, and then unwisely attempt to seize it. Sometimes it's a drive to the basket, others it's trying to block a shot. Last night for Minnesota Timberwolves rookie Wesley Johnson it was both.

Keep your eye on LeBron, streaking quietly across court like some enormous jungle cat stalking prey, then watch Johnson prancing like an antelope, thinking he's got everyone beat, only to get it in the jugular. Lesson learned.


If' you're a rookie backpedaling against D-Wade on the break, even even if you were PAC 10 player of the year in 2010, forget about the block, all you'll get is a face full of leather. Lesson learned.

Teach me how to John Wall

John Wall makes his debut in D.C. 29 points, 13 assists and franchise record 9 steals.

The Most Insane Man in Washington

Gilbert Arenas is a never-ending barrage of WTFs. Whether he’s jovially toting loaded guns around a Washington locker room or faking injuries to get his buddies more playing time, Arenas and his issues are difficult to define. The man operates in the sometimes brilliant but usually blundering grey zone between prankster and the chemically imbalanced.

And as all of us head to the polls for this critical midterm election today while Gilbert is on his way out of Washington, it’s a fitting time to rehash what weird stream of piss Arenas was spouting in the run up to Barrack Obama’s election in 2008.

"It’s hard for me to vote, because since I’ve been in the NBA I’ve been in the upper class so I’ve been a Republican. If you have any type of money, you’re a Republican, period. So, it’s hard because you see a better looking president in Obama – I don’t even want to say because he’s black, but he just looks the part – and then you have McCain who is Republican and I’m like, man. I know Obama is going to raise taxes on the upper class from 20-60 percent, that’s what I’m looking at."

He also added the following:

"There’s another reason I don’t vote – I don’t want jury duty. If you’re not registered to vote, you can’t get jury duty. I know that campaign Diddy had a couple years ago, “Vote or Die,” yeah if the alternative is jury duty, I’m going to die. I’m not going to get in one of these cases where they blow the jury members’ houses up to get out of the trial, I’m cool. I’ve seen too many movies."

That’s great Arenas. Just what your fans in DC’s poorer neighbourhoods love to hear.

Forget Gilbert. Go vote. 

 President Obama takes it to the North Carolina Tarheels

Kim Kardashian Wants LeBron James, Bad

Kim Kardashian was court-side for Sunday's Nets-Miami game when someone caught a few shots of her eyeballing LBJ and then sold it to a dumpy, capslocked website called MediaTakeOut.com. MTO ran the photo with the following story on its website. The piece is slanderous, exaggerated and completely unreliable garbage to which LeBron rightfully replied on his Twitter 'MTO is the most disgusting/non-credible site in the world! All they do is try to ruin people lives and talk bad upon them.'

Here's a photo of what's really going on. LeBron, his longtime girlfriend Savannah Brinson and their two sons. 

Shaq Dresses in Drag, Lip Syncs to Beyonce and Shows Us Something Really Scary

Kobe Byrant says his knee is f****** fine.

This summer Kobe had his knee sliced open for the third time in his career. Which means his health has become a much debated component of what will be the most competitive NBA season in decades.

While Kobe usually has pretty tough skin for dealing with the media (that whole rape thing taught him a lot), it’s clear the constant questions over his health are starting to bother him. After last night's win over Golden State a reporter from some California rag called the Orange County Register questioned Kobe about his knee to which he replied with a smile, “Leave me alone about my f****** knee.” The reporter, who’s clearly got some balls, shot right back that even coach Phil Jackson had said Kobe’s knee is not 100 percent, especially not on defence. What does Kobe say right back? ‘ It’s 100%. I don't give a s*** what he says. I’m fine.’ 

With a response like that, it obviously isn’t.

Strange Days: When Globalization Leaves Something Nasty in your Mouth

Allen Iverson playing professional ball in Turkey feels about as right as incest. But the deal is sealed. Rest assured a lot of Turkish ankles are going to get busted.

But just take a good long look at the photo of Iverson below. Think about everything he means, everything he's contributed to the development of basketball culture, everything he's done and said over the last 14 years. Can you really imagine him playing in an all Turkish league living in downtown Istanbul? Really? Without being swarmed by drama and conflict as he navigates the most bizarre waters of his life? Nope. He'll be state side by summer.

Miami Heat: Shut Your Mouth

On Friday night the Heat blew out the Magic by 26, effectively silencing the doubters and haranguers still relishing the loss in Boston. As intended, the athleticism and size of the Heat wrought havoc on the Magic, making everyone short of Dwight Howard look swallowed and beaten by big streaks of red and white. And the fact everything went according to plan explains why the entire Heat team kept throwing up hand gestures like the one pictured above. It’s a clamped beak and its connotations are obvious: ‘Shut your mouth; stop squawking’.

It kinda reminds you that the Miami Heat don’t just want to win, they want to embarrass the league, journalists and booers for hating on them. But if I were Coach Erik Spoelstra I’d worry about fostering such a fickle attitude; one game they’re panicky and chaotic, the next their gesticulating like a dynasty, after only their third game.

Another thing I’d like to point out, early on in this great Miami/Boston/Lakers rivalry, is this: Miami management will spend all season as generalists; trying to get the Heat to play like team. Whereas Los Angeles and Boston can afford to be specialists, thinking specifically about how to shut down Miami, how to cripple them by attacking their weaknesses. And there are a lot of weaknesses.

Celtics Halloween Party?

I don't quite know what to make of last night's Celtics Halloween party. That's Rajon Rondo as Tiger Woods on the left, and the enormous crouching frog is Paul Pierce, who's clearly having a good time in that suit. But there's just something kinda off about this scene. Is this really what millionaire athletes get up to on Halloween? 

Promo: When the Orlando Magic meet the Miami Heat